By the end of this chapter, the learner should be able to:

Establish rapport with clients
Incorporate empowering phrases into their speech
Use active listening techniques to better engage with clients.

Interpersonal exchanges

Interpersonal skills involve communicating effectively with different people. If you have good interpersonal skills you will usually be able to talk with ease to a variety of people with differing backgrounds and at a wide range of levels. Your communication will be confident, eloquent and adaptable to suit different situations.

To establish rapport:

Try and find something you have in common
Use positive, confident and co-operative language.
Be interested in what people are saying and ask questions to demonstrate this
Interpret non-verbal and verbal messages and react accordingly or mirror their body language
Your use of language, verbal or non-verbal – try to be accommodating and adapt your style
Be aware of cultural differences:
- different cultures and communities have different euphemisms and accents, which you should bear in mind when speaking.

Empathic/active listening is a form of communicating that requires the listener to relate what they hear to the speaker, by way of restating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words. This helps both the counsellor and client clarify and confirm what is being communicated.
This relation shows understanding and involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. Often, clients can find it difficult to express their feelings in words and non-verbal cues can express a client's feelings more effectively.

Non-verbal cues can include:

Try and find something you have in common
Gestures
Bargaining
Eye contact
Length of response
Pitch and tone of voice.

When you communicate through active listening, it shows respect for the client/service provider and validates their worth. This enhances their self-esteem which, in turn, enables them to relax and means they are less likely to put up defensive barriers.
OARS skills (open ended questions, affirmations, reflections, summaries) are one example of empathic listening skills because they are all about listening in a heartfelt manner without trying to change or push the individual. These OARS skills come from a therapy called Motivational Interviewing, developed by Professor William R Miller.

Empowering phrases could include:	Negative/disempowering phrases:
'It sounds like...' 'You seem to be...' 'As I understand...'	Attempting to rescue client from problems Too many questions (can act as a barrier to conversation) Commands such as ‘stop worrying’, ‘don’t be so upset’ etc. Threatening comments Not paying attention Changing the subject.

Positive ageing

Positive ageing is about being proactive and facing the challenges of growing old. Rather than looking at the downsides of growing old, you look at the opportunities and make the best of them.

Personal attitude

It is important to maintain a personal attitude that promotes the empowerment of older people. A personal attitude that is ageist can have a hugely negative impact on the client.
For example, if you hold the view that ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’, then an elderly person who may be very capable of engaging in a re-ablement process and gaining greater responsibility and independence, may find that they are not given such an opportunity.
A poor attitude towards the elderly can deprive them of opportunities and decrease their sense of self-esteem and self-worth.
As a care provider, therefore, it is your responsibility to develop an attitude that works to promote the independence and wellbeing of all clients in your care, and to support them towards independence and dignity.